Moving On - LisaB

[Mozza]

Regarding finding the shape that fit, I see it as a one in a million chance. So I have to get out there again and again. Of course, it's not easy. That's why I have to get comfortable with rejection and being rejected. By the way, my IC thinks that I see rejection where there is none. I'm not done thinking about it.

Getting outside of our comfort zone is not easy, but is often so rewarding. I definitely want this period to be one of reinvention and of progress. Also, my mom always told me when I was young "If it hurts, it heals" and I stayed with the impression that hurting a little is a good sign! See every feeling of rejection as a step towards getting better at it. Once you've experienced it tens of times, it won't sting much. You'll be much better at finding a good mate. You need to lower the risk that you'll fall into the arms of a so-so prospect just because he's not rejecting you. That's important.

My reading of Models also helped me deal with rejection. I imagine each person as an obstacle towards the one that wants me and that I want. If they are to reject me, I better know it early. It means it's not them. Moving on. I don't see women as people that I should convince to want me. Also, I'm very careful to limit my investment in them to something reasonable at each stage, and not exceeding theirs. So I don't get too enthusiastic too fast about anyone and I always keep in mind that they might disappear at any time.

I'm glad to follow your efforts, fellow experimenter!