My story pt 2

[Kembo05]

Well, that's just her wanting control over your life, and D2 is the tool she's going to use.

I definitely agree with this 100%

I can hear something in your posts. I hear a man who is use to following along with whatever the W says, and now you are either doing the same about the MC.....or it's you hoping it will turn things around. I suppose you will just have to see for yourself.

This wasn't always the case, but since BD I have been more like this. I do think I am hoping the MC will turn things around. I would be really shocked if she used it as an avenue to bash me. I think she is wanting to use it as an avenue to have her cake and eat it too. I would guess she will want to try and see if we can still be friends yet have a divorce, I will have to wait and see but if that is the route it goes I know I will have to stop going. I am hoping we can communicate in a safe controlled environment and this will help soften her heart. She has dropped hints that filing for D doesn't mean it's over; I know I have to live and have the mentality that it is but secretly in my mind I am hoping something some how some way will soften her heart. It's like being upbeat and cordial with her; I don't want to do that and I'm hurting inside but I know I have to give her that perception. I want her to perceive that I am starting a new life, but on the inside I want nothing more than to reconcile.

Only you can stand up for yourself and take back control over your own life.

This is a daily reminder I have to tell myself, especially in the morning when my mind is weak and I feel panic and despair.