Good morning E. I had plans for the week...went kayak fishing on Thursday (awesome BTW...trying to figure out how to effort a couple of kayaks and a trailer), went to gym yesterday afternoon, had friends over for a night of games. Today is soccer championships for boys. Have three games and their year end party's. Nothing tonight. Tomorrow I will go to gym and then get busy on basement again.
Poor sleep last night. I wish I could fall asleep in the arms of a woman who wants me there instead of next to a corpse or a block of ice.
I see the growth of so many of you guys n gals and wonder why I am so stuck. I looked through all of those old posts on LBS script that were linked by cadet in Zeus's latest thread and I simply have no idea where I am in this process.
JSome days I feel like I still haven't gotten past denial yet and I work at trying to see what I can do to get that affection and love from my spouse that I want...others I feel strong in my conviction that our marriage is over and there is nothing I can do to stop the feieght train except get out of the way and hope that no damage is done.
I am still holding onto the hope that this is getting better and my wife is finally turning around and coming back...of a dream of two people growing old together. I am such an idiot to think there is any hope of that anymore.
How do I let go...it is like I can't or refuse to allow myself to stop being so selfish. I don't get it. I see all the damage holding on does and I can't let go of hope.
