Thanks for the help guys, especially Sandi! I hope you will continue to follow this thread and i will update when i get a chance as how things are going. I am trying to apply what you are all saying even if it seems so backwards to me right now. I am trying to keep conversations very short though and only try not to be rude basically, and answer when asked. Im trying to stay busy around the house and stuff so im not just 'sitting in front of the tv' or anything like before, unless she does. We watch a lot of movies together, so im not sure if i should try and stop that, or when she offers, just say sure and go along as we always have? also i wanted and offered to go to the movies this weekend, which is nothing out of the normal, should i be stopping that as well?
i can tell the big struggle Sandi helped me see, is as much as I lie to myself, im still too emotional. i have to fight crying off still when i concentrate to much on us, and i am not a 'cryer'. I am better about hiding it though, i do not let her see me, i just walk out of the room composed and go to the bathroom or outside with the dog. She has cuaght me 'glaring' as she put it since she doesn't know i know, and i just said i was just looking at you playing on your phone in the corner and walked away. I just keep envisioning her and the OM and the messages/emails i read. My question is, what do i do when she wants to get intimate? Im very sexual so starving myself hurts as it is, but im not sure i can look at her the same right now since i 100% saw the proof she slept with OM, and so recently. We have not been intimate since then. She's talking about hanging out with her BFF again soon, who is against us now, so im sure thats another ploy to go see him... is getting intimate a bad thing? or should i just ensure i do no be the one to initiate it?
I have seen the texts previously where her friend and her mock my 'stupidity' thinking they are pulling something over me when she saw the OM, which is why i was wondering if i should call her out on it with the evidence or not. For now, i am listen and trusting you all while i sit back...
as some more background to help with my sitch also, as i stated before, i have apologized for my neglectfulness and essentially taking her for granted that helped start the issue of her not trying. she had accepted it months ago and seemed sincere, but obviously she is still holding a grudge and not working on things, especially now that she deeply in the A. Anyways, what got my attention was when i was being ignored, I realize today, she was GAL and thats what got me to come back. This was when i said I came back on way to strong. Before that, she had tried to get my attention and i was too stupid to see it, which i discovered myself by 'replying' our convo's in my head, reading old texts, etc... im so mad at myself for missing these signs. Anyways, she still is working, hanging out with the girls alot (i know she is with them), working out, so my real question is, if she is still GAL, should i be also? What if we are both GAL? She certainly is, so i want to make sure this doesn't change anything with how i should be applying the DB's?
