Hi ,Vanillia Thanks so much. Well much more happened this evening and basically EXW sent D14 meant for OM. Test said " hope you got bus ok and can't wait to get home. xx. It was D10s birthday today and D14 got he message just before I got home I came home with S20'and told EXW to leave. She said the text was for OMs sister who was looking after her cats while she was here.
I then told EXW I could not have the kids upset like this anymore s d while I appreciate she would not send text on purpose it was still hurtful
EXW ranted for a while then called down and I told her that the thing with OM was affecting the kids too much. EXW told me that he was just a friend and was going through a bad episode of his bi polar and she was seeing a lot of him at the moment. I asked where he slept and she said in her bed !!! At this point I explained that while I had excepted that our M was over I could no longer be her friend while she had OM as a friend I was very calm while she cried and said she was. very unhappy and didn't know why she was friends with OM. I just explianed that I was nt really interested and it was her life
There was more chat but it didn't amount to much. Kids have asked if they cannot see EXW for a while and I've told them to sleep on it
Im ok in mysef I'm just sad at what EXW seems to have become.
Hi Toots a ne Vanillia. Thanks for the kind words. I have had 6 texts from her this morning starting out with she's so sorry , she has no idea what she is doing, she loves us all more than anything and she hates herself !!!! I have set my boundaries Vanillia and Im sticking to it
Toots. I know I might be an idiot but I don't think is sexual as EXW has very bad problems with menopause and he is a drunk
I did speak to SIL at 1.30am this morning for 2' hours and she is adamant that EXW is not romantically worh OM she said EXW is in a terrible place and is hanging out with OM because he doesn't judge her
I just got 3 more text of EXW where she again is stating that she is not in a relationship with anyone and nor has she been. SL also confirmed EXWs body issue and does not think any woman would be interested in sex while that issue is on going.
Hi RD, I don't mean sex as such - who knows?? But it sounds like an EA at least.
Unless your W is completely deluded (and please don't think I'm being rude) 'friends'- particularly those of the opposite gender - don't share your bed if you're a grown up. Unless it is a completely dysfunctional friendship, which of course it may be.
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Oh my Lord V, a sleep pile of friendship? Well, count me on.
By the way RD, if you need a friend to keep you company and put you to sleep, then just let me know and I will try to get this D done even faster.
You know, friends are for every moment of need. Oh, and I always have cold hands and cold feet, I am hypoglycemic, need a blanket to warm them up.
Sorry RD, I am not trying to be rude either, but V put out there with the sleep pile.
RD, I think that you handled this situation well, being kind and compassionate with her, showing her that she has your support and that she has choices if she wants to take them.
For me, the most important is your W to understand that she can undermine the lives of her children with her poor choice of actions. She needs to understand that depending on what she does, she can hurt their future and their pride, dignity, friendships and a lot more.
If she does not care about herself, her M, you or whatever, she MUST make it sacred for her children. They did not ask to be born, we made them and got them in this world. So we care no matter what.
What she is doing to you is cruel, but then that's what all WAS do. You are doing the right thing, you contact your SIL so her family can get very involved, instead of you.
You also are setting more and better boundaries for yourself that will protect you from all the pain that she brings to your life, and the kids life.
Would be nice if you and the kids can get away this weekend and have some fun without all this mess around you.
I am also sure now that my H needs to go. I want my life, my own happiness and will stand tall for my kids.
I posted on my thread that I would like to share time and a beer with you, and I feel a lot like that. I would be nice sweet RD.
Love, Kisses and Hugs to you and your kiddos. Pink
Hi Vanillia and Pink. Thanks for the hugs. I'm struggling with the no contact EXW has text 9 times yesterday , telling me she loved us all more than anything , sending a huge text about how she stupidly believed her friendship with OM was nothing to do with our M. She then texted to say she is completely lost and was thinking about calling L/C I just sent her a text with L/Cs number and didn't answer any of the others
SIL called me again last night and said she had been talking to EXW and EXW was very upset SIL asked if I could see any chance of reconciliation and I just answered anything is possible
Really down at the moment but I hope to pick myself up as the day goes on
Hi RD, I'm so sorry things are tough right now. I hope my post didn't offend you last night. I guess this whole 'friends' thing just rankles with me. But that's due to my sitch & it's mine to own.
Glad that SIL is involved from W's perspective & I hope you manage to have a reasonable weekend, despite all this. It sounds like your W is spinning just now, but she clearly cares about the impact of all this. I don't see your sitch as being without hope by any means, and I do think you may want to hang on in there, look after you and the kids & your W can deal with her own demons.
Take care lovely RD ((((((rd))))))
Ps: when is the RD sleepy friends event happening??!! Don't want to miss that one!
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
