Well, you probably know where I stand. It does seem a little too over the top, her being oh-so-happy and all.
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She gave me access to her phone. I read through her emails and texts last night. I don't see any contact with OM, and all previous communication with him has been deleted.
Wait a minute, Krammer. She doesn't get to decide when you see her phone. The whole point is for you to have access whenever you decide to look, and without giving her time to give it a once-over before handing it to you. Of course, she can delete as she goes, but if she's still in contact with him, something will give her away.
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She had told me that she had not seen him past a certain date, but the emails proved otherwise. I confronted her about this last night, and she immediately went on the offensive, telling me that I was trying to trap her in a lie and to stop being so obsessive.
Did you actually read something in someone's email that contradicts what she told you?
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She said that we have had a great 2 weeks and we're starting over, so I need to back off.
She did bring up the subject of moving back in, and asked for a timetable. She seems to expect her and the kids moving back in by September. I changed the subject. It just seems like she wants to take up right where we left off, and is starting to get upset when talking about the last 8 months. Almost like she wants to forget it and move forward.
That's not a good sign. You can't just "start over" as though nothing happened. If she's not real about this, the cracks will start showing more & more. I think you need to continue to hold your ground about MC, healing, etc. And, catch her phone when she isn't expecting it. See what her attitude is, then. Oh, and there may be more deleted emails, since you've tipped her off about the discrepancies.
There are several ways a WW can get around phone/computer transparency, if she is covering up her contacts with OM. If she's not authentic in wanting the MR to heal over the destruction she's caused, she will resist and resent your questioning and checking more & more. Once she gets back into the house with you.....you've had it. You might as well lay out the "welcome limbo" mat. She's wanting to get around the work she needs to do, and that won't cut it.
Her attitude is the best transparency of all. She can put on a good front part of the time, but eventually, the attitude gives her away.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
