To answer your Step questions--they are the steps in DR. Step 1: Start with beginner's mind; Step 2: Know what you want; Step 3: Ask for what you want.
Most of us cannot do Step 3 until our spouses are ready to hear it and are receptive to giving it to us.
For me, I knew what I wanted: Mr. Wonderful to make a decision. I was finally at a point where I needed one to be made, either way. Now understand that he hasn't officially chosen to reconcile, but he told me flat out that he doesn't want the D and isn't ready to move back home. AND he's aware that too much time has passed to let this go on any longer.
BTW, Triple J was a really big help with me on this. We've had many IM and phone chats this past week, and he was able to assist me in fine tuning my approach. That's why I owe him some beer...
Reconciling before he moves home IS what I want. And I think he wants it too.
Hope this clears up your questions...
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
