DifRent's Journey - 27 days in, thread 2

[DifRent]

I need support... my "real world" friends are telling me to end this [censored], I'm too good for her, etc., etc. But here's what happened tonight...

We had a meeetup group that we attended together. On the way there, she told me she had "no" plans this weekend, except she has "plans" tomorrow night. I know what that means. I don't want to dig further. And besides, I have GAL plans, too.

Tonight's event wound up being very small, just four people - half of whom were us. One of the people there already recognized us as a couple from happier days. I dressed well, wore a perfume she recognized from every time I used to pick her up from the airport ("smells good in here," she said when she came home), and I made a point to be my most charming self at this event. I had the other attendees talking about how I needed to run for office, impressed with my contributions to the conversation... and interestingly, my W "claimed" me then. Offered to host a meetup group at "our" home. We talked freely of trips we've taken, acted very much like a couple... she did, anyway. I was kind of passive about it.

And the whole time, she had her leg pressed to mine under the table, spoke admiringly of me, gave me some old familiar looks...

In the car on the way home, she spoke of "us"... plans for our son's graduation party on Sunday, progress regarding both our business and our respective job searches, what the financial forecast looks like for the rest of the year. Nothing at all combative or contentious. Of course, we get home, and I can't help but look at our business email... where she jumps on to tell the OW that she loves her and misses her and will call as soon as she can...

(My son mentioned last night, btw, that the OW looks like a potato. I shouldn't take pleasure in this, but I did. Because he's right. I seriously don't see the attraction... except, as my coach said this morning, the OW has more money than I do, and is stroking her ego, making her feel important, all of that. And I am not.)

Anyway, we came home, and she went upstairs to take care of "business," all of which I can hear, so it's not with the OW. But I'm looking back on my day, and I followed all the advice my coach gave me: compliment her if you can (I did... about some ads she designed, about how nice she looked, about how hard she's working), I made myself look and act attractive. I did not argue, didn't give her any reason not to feel good about herself following any interaction with me... but also, stayed detached enough. Did not pursue. Let her drive THAT train, even as I did my best to be confident and composed tonight.

Her heart is divided. No... actually, I think her heart is with me. Other parts of her are with the OW. Her ego. Her libido. Her crack addict self.

Am I letting her take advantage? Or am I working the DB plan the way I should?

And should I even care?