Thought of the day. My mom told me one of her friends is a shopaholic. There is this decade long battle between her and her H. She hides things, has packages delivered to her work, etc, etc. He looks the other way for a while, then blows up. Very odd.
Where it gets interesting is that on occasion her H will say very mean things to her, even with company around. Being very derogatory about her spending, insulting, borderline abusive. My mom asked her once why she lets him treat her like that, why she doesn't draw a firm boundary.
The answer? Basically she replied that as long as she let things go on that way she'd be able to continue to do what she was doing (compulsive shopping). She didn't want to have to stop the shopping, so she put up with this rather than rock the boat. She knew she deserved better, but didn't want to risk having to give up her addiction by having things restructure out of her control.
I found that interesting, and it made me think of our WAS's. I always assumed they were in a fog so thick they couldn't see out of it. Now I'm realizing it's possible they do get the entire sitch better than we think, but they don't want to have to let go of the addiction.
This has nothing to do with my journey and was more of a passing curiosity. Time to read. I've just got Dr. Joy Browne's "9 fantasies that will destroy your life (and 8 realities that will save it!)" I LOVED her call in psychology show and fantasy and expectations were definitely my issue, so I look forward to this.
PS- Gan- I got the book you were talking about by the Shrantz guy (can't remember the author, but I looked it up and it's on it's way).
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
