Anger is a primary emotion and can't be controlled. You either feel it or you don't as it's an autonomic or limbic response like fear. It's biological and it's a healthy way of being if your boundaries are infringed or you are remembering they are. It's the reactions to anger, viz resentment, aggression or abuse which can be managed.
In my book the long term behaviour of resentment can lead to inward expressions of stress and damage. So I try to let go of the resentment in case that leads me to act in a passive aggressive way to myself or others. I say try because sometimes I don't succeed because in essence I don't want to. But anger can be useful and a real motivator.
I like that you are angry that WH had multiple affairs, sounds like a healthy response to me!
So I like anger but not the behaviour that goes with it. And frankly I only forgive people who deserve to be forgiven and neither do I forget. What I do is state my boundary firmly then say let go and I turn the other cheek without reacting. I have no resentment reaction and the anger goes. For me the ultimate is indifference and I feel "whatever" but "do it again" - and I will enforce my boundary.
Just musing again
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 06/04/1505:25 PM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
