Timing seems to have a hand in things, more evident now for me than ever, not sure if its a good thing or not .. all I can do at this point is just trust in God and continue on my own journey this thing has put me on.
Communications with W have seemed to drop a bit, some TM during the day .. evening nothing, night .. less still. As I mentioned W was laid off yesterday, up to that point seemed she was actually looking forward to it, but just like all MLC things what looked like it would be fabulous ... the reality was right there to give her a black eye.
She took out 30k during the crisis period, not sure how much went to BIL, but that loan was from her 401k, not smart ... now she has to come up with the money and she does not have it. That ontop of the job search ... well its pressure and we all know how MLCrs love pressure. So for me I see it, I have laid low ... pretty dark making sure my side of the street is clean and clear from crazytown.
W contacted me this morning asking how I was ... but was more about wanting to come by my work so I could scan some docs she needs to send to her accountant. I told her she was free to come by, she got lost ...I walked her here via phone. She looks a mess, did not want to come in, was on the verge of breaking down. I scanned her docs, emailed them to her, returned them to her as she was crying in the parking lot. I tried to assure her things would be ok, then caught myself and told her I am here if she wants to talk (knowing I can not fix this).
I have this Retrouville envelope with the funds to mail, I figured I could give it to her to drop off at the post office ... thinking if she still wanted that by her mailing it would prove it. This only seemed to add to the pressure which I seen quickly, told her I would handle it.
So I am not sure of the status, does not feel like there is any R going on, I get she has her hands full with her own mess, so I am continuing to just back off. She only seems to come to me when she needs help ... but even now that pride and stubborness seems to be controlling things.
I think about the story of Job ... maybe she needs to lose it all, seems at this point she has, Family destroyed, Job gone, OM gone (To the last of my intel), looking at financial problems. Just outside looking in, she is in trouble and I can really not bail her out ..... even now if she were want to be married all the sudden I know its out of fear facing what she has to face.
So I will continue doing what I have been doing, observe, live my life .. do my thing and see where this all takes me. The loneliness is setting in more and more as of late, I attribute that to my GAL offseason ... I do need to find a summer GAL till Softball cranks back up. Probably time to look into what is going on with the church.
