DifRent's Journey - 27 days in, thread 2

[DifRent]

Interesting advice from my coach this morning, and I just wanted to share. We pretty much honed in on the fact that the OW makes my WW feel special, important, successful. That is the primary reason she is with her.

And I've been more "constructively critical," and haven't gone out of my way to be the one who makes her feel that way. I can't do it disingenuously, but the coach reminded me that when I was in education, I ALWAYS looked for the positives first when dealing with a struggling teacher or a challenging student. And so, I need to look for the positives here as well, and catch her off guard, and drop the compliments quickly without expecting anything in return.

I just wanted to point this out because, yes... DBing is about working on ourselves, and making ourselves better people, no matter which direction things go. While we have no expectations, we hope that in doing so, our spouses will be drawn back to us. In fact... none of us would be here without that hope. So yeah... I have to make this effort if I'm to have that hope. Doing that sort of thing will make me a better person too, I'm pretty sure.