DifRent's Journey - 27 days in, thread 2

[DifRent]

Yeah, I can see where it might look like I'm trying to punish her. I'm not, though... really, I'm not.

But she needs to feel the loss of something, as Sandi has mentioned. I'm not focusing on that, but I know she's feeling the loss of my constant presence in her life. I don't think that's a punishment, is it? I think it's a consequence of her actions... my detachment, my determination to GAL, my giving her the space she wants on the one hand, and despises on the other.

Actually, right at this moment, we are in the same room, and I keep looking at her, feeling an admixture of love and sorrow. I don't recognize the woman she's become. And if this is the woman she decides to continue to be, then it's over.

But it will take time to sort all this out. I'm doing my best to "bear wrongs patiently." And to be sure that I'm working on myself in such a way that I will be fine no matter what happens. I'm not focused on winning her back. Because... that's not feeling very hopeful. So, the only thing I can do is focus on me.

But Matt... I have to say, you have an awful lot of wisdom for one who has been here for such a short period of time. Thank you, so much, for being so supportive here in my situation. I wish I had similar wisdom to offer you in your situation. With two little girls, I know you are really going through the ringer. (When I divorced my (violent) husband, I was about your age, and my boys were 5 and 7. It's not easy. I feel for you.)