MLC Sux

[DJin]

I've been reading the background stories of others in the Newcomers section and it really strengthened me today.

Because we fought some this morning over the calendar accusations, I've been stressed all day. He's always approved of me completely until 6 months ago so I get really lost when we fight. We're still close often and still working on our marriage so it makes it harder to detach. I try to think of him as a roommate who pays my bills for me so I don't get upset that he comes and goes as he pleases. I'm not yet fully successful in that reframing.

But today I did have a flood of understanding about becoming a wife that any husband would be a fool to leave and also about detaching from his tantrums. I realized many bad things may happen, earthquakes, financial disasters, car accidents, plane wrecks, disease.....and I can't control any of them. But I don't walk around freaking out over the possibility of them either.

He may do many wretched things in the months to come. And, if he does, I'll have no control over it. I can only do my best to have integrity in each moment and work on my humility so I don't get stirred up to anger over and over due to past or imagined injustices.

Let go and Let God. I am entitled to personal peace.

Anyway, just giving a thanks tonight for everyone who has shared their stories and wisdom here. They are already supporting me.

Hugs!