He's pretty paranoid lately. He keeps accusing me of stuff. Most recently, he's accusing me of "trying to divorce" him. He's met with attorneys and filled out divorce papers and filed them, but then never served me and just has them sitting there. He says he doesn't intend to move forward with the papers as written and has it all on hold for now.
He filed because he was sure I was planning to file in another state (I was travelling with my kids to care for my mom. I was gone about a month.) He was astounded when I got home and he discovered, as I'd repeatedly told him, that I had not filed, had no intent to file, and didn't plan to divorce him or want to divorce him. I havent met with any attorneys or done any paperwork.
Furthermore, I have told him that IF we were to split, I would gladly share custody with him and have no problem with that. He wrote up the paperwork to give himself full custody (which he'd never get so it doesn't worry me). He's said several times that he thinks he could get full custody and that it might be best for the kids.
So, I started keeping a calender of nights he's out. He goes out drinking 4-5 nights a week and closes out the bars. The kids go several days in a row every week where they don't see him at all cuz he goes out drinking straight from work and doesn't get home until 2am and then goes out again right after work the next night.
I figure he won't have any standing to convince a judge he considers me an unfit parent if he leaves me alone with the kids all day and all night nearly all the time.
Anyway, he considers this calendar more "proof" that I'm planning to divorce him. I told him, No, I'm only protecting myself in the event of a custody battle which you keep threatening.
It heartens me some that he's being so weird and unreasonable because that suggests he truly is not himself (we've always had the most beautiful and happy marriage until BD when he decided he hates tons of things about me). So, I have hope that, probably years from now, he will recover some and resemble a human capable of rational thought.
M: 16y 3 adult kids, 2 young kids H filed D May/15, no svc yet Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends? ~ Abe Lincoln WAKE UP. WORK HARD. FORGIVE. REPEAT.
