I hope your wife is trying to schedule a conversation with you to discuss your relationship. Those things we discussed yesterday can certainly enter any such conversations but remember to listen, mostly and then ask questions. Answer her questions with questions. Do not be afraid to share your emotions and feelings in an authentic manner without being needy.
I certainly don't think it's time to go dark on her and I agree with Starsky that checking in every now and then checking on whether the affair is continuing or not is a good thing. You can't fight a battle without intel but, at this point, the battlefield doesn't change much that you need to check everyday.
You may also consider giving up your source. If you confirm contact and then she has a conversation wherein she denies it. Tell her she's being hurtful when she continues to lie to you and then you COULD tell her exactly what you know and how you know it. Sure she (and OM) could take extra precautions and you will lose that avenue of snooping but so what. She'll then know that she's lost all credibility with you so any future statements that she makes promising "no contact" will be suspect and she'll need to go the extra mile providing you verifiable "no contact". You'll lose the source, but be free from the internal struggle of knowing that information is right there and you can't help feeling the urge to check it constantly (if the verizon refresh button was an actually button on my computer, it would have worn off back in the day). What good is intelligence information if you can't use it? If she lies...calmly and in a detached manner tell her it's hurtful when she lies. If she persists tell her what you know. She may actually come clean about the limited number of calls you did see and tell you how they were basically closure contact wherein they were making sure they were both OK and OM was making sure your wife got her stories straight (as OM lies his butt off to his betrayed wife).
The internet is 90% complaining and entitlement and I hate it because I deserve better!
