About Newlywed's theory about happiness: you've definitely got a point. However I would like to point out that in a truly loving relationship, the unhappiness of one makes the other unhappy too.
I am well aware by now of the impact my LD has on my husband, and it tears me up inside. I am the one who cries periodically, because it breaks my heart so much that right now, I can not make him as happy as I want to make him. His unhappiness caused me to do everything in my power to fix my problems, and I'm working on it, because I love him and I want our marriage to be the best possible. For me, as for many people I'm sure, it is out of the question to let my husband suffer any more than unavoidable for something that is not his fault, that is in my head. It scares me to death to think that because of my problems, I might lose him. I think if I read any more about just how easily that could happen if I don't hurry up and change my whole life around asap, I'll hide in a closet and never come out again.
I might sound a little defensive here, I'm sorry... I'm just trying to say that if an LD loves his or her HD spouse, they are under a lot of stress too. It sometimes feels like the responsibility for the relationship rests solely on my shoulders.
