Old dog seeks new trick 14

[Old Dog]

Just coming back to what you asked Pink,

I wonder if this anger that you show when you write about her, if it is showing when you interact with her in any given moment.

From when I learned about her affair up until the weekend before last, I was simmering with rage. I gave a her really hard angry stares when she went out to om and I did once yell at her and call her a selfish ****. The next time I saw her, I said I didn't want her in the house when I was back for the weekend and that I would only come back every other weekend. Since then, I haven't seen her - actually no, that isn't quite true, we ignored each other outside the train station quite early on after the separation - and contact by text, email or phone is minimal and focused on the logistics of the children.

No, I don't reply straight away. I am learning to be patient. In fact I often wait a few days. I've never really had boundaries. The only one I brought up was the when she brought home some sexually explicit birthday cards, valentines card and a sex bond from om. I said If I ever saw them or anything like them in the house again I would destroy them.she wasn't best pleased about that but I said it was utterly disrespectful and she removed them. Mind you, they might be back now, hidden somewhere seeing as she lost her job: or they may be at om's house.

What is the best situation? It's the one where S12 has a great birthday. I said I was willing to join them to try and make it more of a family occasion. I feel as though I can do that now. I will concentrate on my boys and just be civil with her: she doesn't deserve anything more.

I have been trying to get him to think of something to do, but I guess a day trip would be quite a strain so in that sense she is right. What I didn't want was to be shunted off to the next day.

I hope this goes some way to explaining my thinking. I'm not sure what I'm thinking or what's a dumb idea sometimes. That's why we're here.

And Lisa, I am already grateful to some extent for this terrible episode. I would never have learnt so much about me or relationships without it. A work colleague has just got married and another one is going to soon - I'm going to the reception - and I want to give them 5LL or HNHN. I think they, or similar should be mandatory for couples.