Aside from all the very useful information and tips in the book, there were three most important parts for me.
1) Part I, 'The Sex'Starved Marriage'. The first chapter let me hear a take on that sex is important to a marriage, and that's that, no matter how different you are, if you want it to last, you have to work it out. I had not had that kind of wake-up call. It was like, 'work harder or you'll get fired'.
2) In Part II: 'The Lowdown on Low Sexual Desire'. Pages 21-37 were incredibly comforting to me, because for the first time I realized there are other people out there who feel exactly like me, and that I am not a horrible person.
3) Believe it or not, Pages 109-131, 'The HDS's Guide for Boosting the Marriage Libido'. It is designed to give that same feeling of comfort to the HD spouse that I felt with the LD chapter - and that got me thinking, omygoddess, if he can identify with this as well as I can identify with 'my half' of the book, he's got to be in just as much pain as I am. For the first time, I heard a take on what sex really means to an HD, that it's not just 'scratching an itch' (even thgouh I still am slightly to sometimes utterly confused about my HD husband's sex drive, but I guess that's an eternal struggle). So I asked my husband about it, and he confirmed what I'd read. Like many men, he has a harder time putting things into words, so the book pretty much spoke for him.
The key for me was, I felt understood, so I could open up to understanding him. There was an outside, professional source who told me both our points and feelings are valid. Reading the book made me feel like we were 'equals' again, not completely incompatible or freaks.
