These last couple of days have been pretty awful. For as long as I have been distracted by work (now that I have a full-time position, albeit a temporary months-long one), or meeting with new people, I am able to forget my STBX and to find the perspective that makes her and her behavior seem unimportant or even beneath me... and that feeling will stay with me for a while after the distracting event. But then the oppressive anxiety comes back with a fearful blast and lingers like an iron fist clutching my heart.
I'm pretty sure that what's going on is that the anxiety from my job is attaching itself to ruminative thoughts of STBX. At the office, I feel like I'm in over my head, which is awesome cuz it's the first time in years I've felt that way (promising personal and professional growth, and new skills, etc), and that in itself would be fine if it were either by itself or mitigated by loving feelings from a spouse or SO.. but instead, in my alone time, a stray thought of STBX pops in and gets blown up into a vicious cycle by the anxiety I already feel.
