Hi Ellie.

Funny, W just called and said she wanted to cancel the C tomorrow and put it off until next week. Said she didn't want to get into it this week. Her sister is still here visiting and I can't say as I blame her.

We've talked about the book and I think you are right to an extent. But she is totally not interested in doing anything she doesn't want to right now. True or not, she feels like I've dictated what happens in this marriage since we started and she sees it as "sticking up for herself." As far as reading the book, I've offered it to her but she is not interested.

I think she's big on affirmation and gifts, and I think I've worked hard at meeting her needs, just that sometimes it never seems like it's enough. Like I said, always seems like there is one more thing I have to do, or she has to do before we can get past our current state.

Christmas was pretty good. W got me a lot of gifts that are nice, but not really anything I couldn't live without. Gift-giving is her thing, I don't really get excited about stuff like that though.

But I thought I did pretty good in that department too this year. She seemed to like all the things I got her, but in the course of Christmas day and the day after, she managed to point out three things she had asked for that I hadn't gotten her. That kind of bummed me out, even though I'm sure she didn't even realize she had done it. Especially since her birthday is two weeks after Christmas and two of those things were something I had planned to give her then. Not like I had ignored them, but now, she'll get those gifts and think I had forgotten what she wanted until she reminded me.

Don't worry about the C taking the place of a date, we go out quite a bit. Especially to dinner or shopping (she likes shopping). I do tell her what I appreciate about her and also what I want. She's just not receptive to it. Not sure if she's just not receptive "yet" or just not receptive "period".

And that's kind of where I get stuck. You don't see steady progress, at least I don't, more of a spurt and a plateau that stretches on for miles. I keep getting the feeling that we've topped out...but maybe I'm wrong...or maybe the air is just so thin up here, I'm getting tired of climbing for the summit.

Hey, nice analogy , with that I think I'll sign off for now.

Take care.

jstx