Quote: The piecing part is hard though. Dealing with everything that happened, trying to build the trust back up, working through some of my own resentments of what happened. I'm just now realizing how much I pushed to the back burner when she was so obviously mixed up. It's more difficult now that the crisis seems to have passed.
Oh, sweetie, haven't we been there! You put aside so many of your own needs in this process, then in Piecing you would really like to have it all made up to you at once! I must say, my h has been pretty good about this, but it still takes a very long time before you feel like YOUR needs have been met. They will, though - patience.
Also - review the Five Love Languages - have you read or discussed this one with your wife? Could be she IS saying ILY to you right now but you aren't hearing her because she's still using the wrong LL.
Could you go to counselling tomorrow with a goal to say 2 things? ! - something you really appreciate and value about your wife, something that will make her feel good about herself. And 2 - some specific action you would like from her in order for you to feel more loved by her. ("I really like it when you .... " whatever your LL's are).
Have you ever figured out her (receiving) LL's and your (receiving) LL's??
Also - as far as those counselling sessions go - I hope they are not taking the place of a weekly date? After my unhappy experience with marriage counselling, I'm convinced we would have done much better if we'd spent that time doing something really fun once a week! Not suggesting you drop the C - just don't let it substitute for a REAL date nite once a week.
