Heather, I guess I have interpreted Matt's comment to you a bit differently. Here's what I came away w/after reading your posting.
Matt's comment: "I'm just sorry it took so much B.S. to get you there."
My take on that comment is that it took a lot of time and BS to get you to finally open your eyes and understand what it took for him to be a provider and what he had to deal w/on a day-to-day basis when living under the same roof w/a wife and two young daughters and then coming home. I get the impression that he didn't share a lot of what went on his every day world and the pressure he was under to perform and be the all he could be for the company as well as coming home to a family. Maybe he felt like you were in your own safe, little world being a mother and wife and not out there facing the cold, cruel world each and every day and wouldn't understand what it takes to do that. Maybe he thought he couldn't talk to you about such things because you wouldn't understand because you were at home taking care of the house and focused on the girls.
I think he's glad that you have finally gotten out of the home and working in the real world. He's happy that you now can fully understand what it takes to be a parent, run a home, take care of your daughter and yes work a full time job. He's happy that you can finally understand what it is to be the only one working outside the home, and yet, have all of the responsibilities put upon you to do things and try to do them right when you come home in the evenings.
Maybe both of you had high expectations as to what each of you would bring to the table in the marriage when those expectations weren't met, the communications between the two of you went south.
Again, this is just my opinion of what Matt meant and I don't think it was a bad comment at all.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.