H and I had MC session yesterday and it was very emotional for me. I did chuckle a couple times inside because I noticed H was doing some back paddling.
But I have to say I am coming to the end of my rope with this marriage. I have done nothing but try and try while he sits back and enjoys the ride. The therapist wanted me to tell him what I wanted out this relationship and I refused because I have told my H numerous times and he just doesn't care. I told her that I was not ready for him to move back because I have not seen any improvements from him. He must have seen improvements from me because he wants to move back in. I am starting to feel happy once again and I am doing things for myself and he sees that.
Our therapist asked why I wanted our marriage to work, honestly I couldn't tell her. This worries me. I know I love him and she asked why I loved him and I couldn't answer that as well. That scares me as well.
We are leaving Thursday night for Sea World for the weekend so this will be an interesting few days. I have decided to wear a rubber band on my wrist so if I feel myself getting upset, I will pop it. I don't know if this works, but will give it a try.
