They desperately cling to their M out of co-dependency for a while, they commit themselves to looking in the mirror and doing whatever they need to for the M to be saved...until they realize they can't control the outcome and get what they want (R) when they want it...then they get resentful and start refocusing on the WAS's current bad behavior, then as they detach and don't "need" the M anymore they refocus on their grievances in the M, their spouse's shortcomings (in the form of psychological diagnosis), then they decide their spouse was the failure, their M stunk, and they are lucky to be rid of their ex because they never would've been happy anyway. Yet they insist that they've grown as people and somehow have the moral high ground AND are better prepared for their next M.
Were you thinking of me here, Zues?
No MB. I have seen bits and pieces of this in many situations, including my own, and would say if there is an LBS script this is it. Not all of this applies to everyone. It is meant to be an aide to help DB'ers avoid making these mistakes.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
