Advice Welcome, separating and W moving out soon..

[jedi]

I said in another thread that if you watch grass grow, you won't notice it....but what if you're gone for a month and come back?

Look- if I told you nothing you did or said would ever change your W, your M was DOOMED, and you would never get her back...would 'how dark to be' still be your biggest thing?

Thank you both for keeping with me. Sometimes I hear what is being said, it just doesn’t click. the above clicks for me.

FWIW, I’m think in a different place emotionally now than I was just a few days ago anyway. Had dinner tonight with W and swapped our remaining “stuff”. While it was nice to be near her and the few hours together was enjoyable, I left wishing everything was different and in some ways it was backwards motion for me emotionally. W brought up at one point that she had researched the steps towards D, printed some paperwork, but had not gone any further with actually filing. This was not unexpected, but still hurts to be discussed. I of course was thinking (hoping?) perhaps she was slowing down on that road.

I was stable throughout the evening, but Z you are absolutely right. Trying to be friends / worrying about how dim I need to be is in fact not going to just mess up my detachment, it’s going to derail it. So, maybe tonight was the push I needed, on top of your guys input, to see where worry about that was just silly.

I really do think I'm working on changes for me, although deep down I am still hoping these changes lead us to R at some point. I need to work on this.