Moving On - LisaB

[LisaB]

Hi friends, so it is my Antiversay as Toots called it. So funny. I don't recall the exact date and I don't want to look it up but it was around this time last year that my ex started acting like an a-hole and then dropped the bomb. It's hard not to remember and reflect on how deeply sad and shocked I felt at the time. And interesting to realize that the sadness has passed.

I'm still not sure I am completely ready to date, but I am inspired by Mozza. I'm inspired by his willingness to experiment, stretch and grow via the dating process. I have decided to take that experimental attitude into my own dating adventures.

A few things have brought me to the realization that it is time to make some sort of efforts:

1. A few months back I met a man who gave me extreme butterflies. A crush! That woke me up and made me see that I was possibly open to meeting someone new.

2. Recently I met another man and became friends. He is married. But we had a friendly connection that obviously could have become something deeper if he was not already attached. The great qualities I saw in him gave me a clearer idea of what I am looking for in a new relationship. Somehow in the devastation of my marriage I had lost my grasp on what I wanted in a man. I couldn't see beyond the pain to the positive things I was looking for, only the negative things I wanted to avoid.

Meeting these two men took me out of the fog of rejection and into the clearer air of hope. But then I took a look at my meeting/dating patterns in the past few months. That's when Mozza inspired me.

As I said above, I am nervous about getting out there again. I don't want to be rejected and I feel insecure. In the past months when men have shown interest in me, I balk. I am vowing to put myself out there to date some really great guys. I'm going to try online dating websites, I'm going to be open if I like someone, and I'm going to smile at strangers. I'm going to try not to let my fear control me.

Maybe I am not yet ready for a new relationship, but I feel like I need to take this next step into moving on so that I can heal.

Ex report: I haven't heard much from him. I wonder if he too realizes it has been a year. And I wonder if he is happy with his decision. In the end, I think he did me a big favor in leaving. I think I had settled for "good enough" and called it great. Sure we probably could have fixed it to make it great but after all the mean things he has done, I think now it is too late.

Hope you are all doing well! Hugs, Lisa