I assumed he's turned the kids on you by blaming the divorce on you, or by claiming you won too much money in the divorce?
It's not unusual for the kids to blame the more competent parent - after all, why couldn't you "fix it" like you do everything else? Even though my kids knew my ex cheated on me, and HE was the one that wanted the divorce, I think my middle child blamed me for a long time, for not keeping her dad "happy".
Now that they're older, and they've all had more time to see their dad's true colors, they all realize that nothing I did could have prevented the divorce, and they know know who has their back in a crisis (mom)
As for the restraining order - I think you were wise to get it, to show him you mean business. BUT - in a truly abusive situation, it does NOT protect you from physical harm. IF the police arrive before he can harm you, it ensures that they will cart him off for violating the order. But many many women have been killed by abusive partners while clutching their restraining orders in their hands and waiting for the police to arrive. See it for what it is - a tool - but DON'T rely on it to save you if you feel unsafe.
