smile I have an interview and a potential job training session tomorrow, both of which will at least get me feeling like a professional - so, that's two things on the to-do list. I'm also going to a Divorce Care support group tonight. No matter what happens, I need to deal with this sadness sooner than later. I'm hoping it's a good group of people.

One thing I'm kind of having a problem with in this detachment process: I think I'm still somehow conveying a sense of sadness, because I'm certainly not being effusively pleasant. I am trying not to let on how I feel, but I'm not a good actor. I get the logic behind the whole trying to attract and be cordial and the friendly neighbor, but for godsake, she is being intimate every other night with this other woman before she comes home! I can't just pretend that I'm okay with this.

She said to me this morning that she wanted to "hug" me and "help" me through this. I said she can't hurt me and help me at the same time - that I couldn't live in a world of fake hugs and cheap grace. Since then, she's pulled a detachment card of her own, and it's kind of cold. Not sure what to make of it, or if I really need to step up my efforts at acting like I'm happy.

In fact, she just blew in here unexpectedly, took some aspirin, then said she'd probably be late tonight (code term for I'm going to spend the evening with the OW), as she walked right back out the door. This is a new attitude from her.


Me: 46 Her: 41
M: 5.5 yrs / S: 20, 18
3/26 W and I meet OW
BD: 5/2/2015, she takes off ring
W goes to stay with OW 6/26
NC: 9/5 Both moved out: 10/16
I take off my ring and feel... healed: 10/19