They tell us what we want to hear if he is withdrawing funds then I suggest that you take out half of the money and set up a separate account now. Your h could very well be putting the additional cash into a separate account or spending it on himself or someone else. Protect yourself and your financial stuff, as well as your bank accounts...take half out now before he drains the account. He could be testing you to see if you notice the cash back stuff and will eventually decide to take even more out.
If you confront him, he's going to deny it and call you paranoid and then gaslight you into thinking you are the one that is getting paranoid or trying to control him.
Until this man is actually doing the hard work to reconcile, i.e., actions speak louder than words, I would not hold my breath on him being truthful w/you about what he's doing activity wise as well as monetary wise.
You have to protect yourself and you certainly can't rely on him to do so right now.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
