Defacto - In my opinion, let her come to you. You would want her to approach you to work on the marriage. As much as she wanted out, she did actions to get what she wants.

Why would she now not take any actions if you were what she wanted. I struggle at times thinking "oh ww might not feel safe coming to me and doesn't want to get rejected, blah, blah, blah"

She definitely knew what she was doing when she had the affair. She had needs she wanted met and justified her actions. If/when she's ready, she'll make it known.

THEN you have a better chance of not being a plan B, because she pursued you. Not just agreed to what you asked for.

M-33
W-33
S-11, S-8
M-11, T-14
BD - 12/26, Divorce Filing and admits to affair (her) 4/18
I moved out 5/23