My story pt 2

[Kembo05]

I agree Smothy, if she was loving and/or forgiving I don't think we would be at this spot though. She has cried a couple of times since I've detached, but I can't let that be what draws me back in to cater to her.

I understand doing what I have been doing isn't going to work, so I have to try and have faith with detachment. The biggest problem for me is worrying she will see it as bitterness or resent and then get even angrier with me. Sandi mentioned this in a previous post and how it doesn't hold true; but I also struggle with the fear she will see it as me being the same old guy I used to be. She would get frustrated that I wasn't real interested in what she was saying and our convo's were superficial and it just seems like im walking a tight rope right now; trying to detach but also not come across as I could care less when she talks.

I am a forgiving person and I know I can take steps to forgive her when and if that time comes, but I also have to remind myself, painfully, that she is the one who had the affair. I have tried to make amends but she wanted no part of it. I am just trying to look at detaching as the only options right now.

I have been real cordial and upbeat around the house, I think I have been doing great with the detachment. I am just trying to take it one day at a time.