The idea of detachment isn't to demonstrate/show your wife that you are detached, it is to actually be/become detached. That message you wrote wasn't authentic. You were lying because you truly DO love her and want to reconcile. You didn't have to tell her that. I'm not saying you HAD to tell her your true intent and feelings. I'm not suggesting full transparency either. Unlike Defacto's wife (as far as we can tell), your wife is in full on active affair mode. SHE is detached from you.
Originally Posted By: NDY
There is one other thing I forgot to add to my reply to GB. My WW has stated from day 1 (and repeats at any opportunity) there there will be or reconciliation. Nada. Won't happen.
Oh, and she doesn't do R talks either.
She completely wayward. So this is obvious. My wife had NO want or willingness to reconcile. Gross.
Women (in general) only romantically love one man at a time and it's not you. The mere idea of reconciliation is disgusting/repulsive to her.
Once her affair ends....then she may or may not figure out what a idiot she's been/being.
It funny 25 years talks about a WAW only comes back to the marriage if it's going to be better as if:
1. The betrayed spouse wants something less than better 2. The wayward spouses's feelings are more important than protecting yourself emotionally from their abuse
A wayward spouse doesn't come back to a marriage ONLY if it's got the prospects of being better. I think a more accurate statement might be "She (talking wayward wives) typically comes back to the marriage when her affair ends and THEN you can try to make it better and BOTH spouse's should only bother if it sounds like things will be better in the recovering/recovering marriage".
Again...I don't think you should use anything like that letter I posted to Defacto. You are living together. The notion of an intermediary is pointless. She won't care in the least if you don't speak to her or FEEL emotionally abused by her. She is way to far into her affair right now.
The internet is 90% complaining and entitlement and I hate it because I deserve better!
