hold on! - 10

[u-turn]

Thanks Sunny & Heavy,

I had a good conversation with a friend/client today about me. After new work stuff, I thanked him for not losing my number (I have burnt a lot of bridges and including his). He wondered what the hell happened to me and I told him a little (not about affair, but about my ending marriage) he didn't ask why, but had some great insightful words for me. Has me thinking about going to his church - not so much for spiritual reasons, but maybe more for community and support reasons. I am considering it. He also says I will be ok too. I hear it and have to start believing it.

I feel good about my work again - I can re-build these bridges.

My meeting with lawyer has been postponed until later this week. I am setting one up with another one too (a past client of mine - he is probably more aggressive than what I would like though, but maybe that is what I need)

No appointment with family therapist yet (maybe I should take this on myself too - she said she would though).

W is trying to get me to play into the happy family yet/again. I have been declining invitations from her (this is a bit painful when it involves the kids). I have not refused to have dinner at home with her and the kids - considering that I make it for the kids and myself(though she has refused at times). She is also ramping up venting about work to me - it seems like she is just looking for a friend with an ear - I don't want to be that friend right now. This all just seems so unnatural to me - I don't like to act this way.

I guess this is what everyone calls the gift of time, but I am going to push it along. My anger with her does not seem to be going away.