So it turns out, the reason for going was the friends daughter was hit by a car in front of their house & in ICU. I totally get wanting to be there for your friend. I still have huge issues with the OW brother being around at all. I have issues he didn't tell me why he was going as soon as he knew what had happened. I have restated my boundaries & clearly stated the consequences. Here is what I listed out...

1. Absolutely no contact of any kind in any form with or about OW
2. No unnecessary contact with OW family. If at the hospital or friends house at the same time, very minimal, limited interaction...ie can say hello. No need for chit chat. Once situation is over, no contact.
3. No getting drunk
4. Do not give phone # out randomly. If to another woman, tell me immediately, disclose who she is & there needs to be a reason other than filling time, being friendly or chit chat. I've been down this road, won't do it again.
5. Absolutel full transparency. No secrets. Full disclosure of any & everything. Email, phone, texts, facebook, etc.
6. If going to be out of contact, let me know so I don't wonder about whereabouts
7. If going out all night, call or text occasionally so I know everything is ok. Doesn't need to be every hour but every few hours would be appreciated.
8. If at any time you don't agree with a boundary or feel it should change, discuss it before any situation, not during or after. None of these boundaries prohibit emergency situations & only an emergency would be valid to veer away from them.

As for consequences, I was in no uncertain terms clear that if he agreed to these boundaries, any breaking of them would be the end of any reconciliation.

H agreed. I ask several times if he understood them & the consequences. Asked if he had any questions. Asked if he needed anything at all clarified. Told him I wasn't beating him up with questions but wanted to make absolute sure he fully & without question understood what he was agreeing to. H said he did & he agreed to follow the boundaries.

Am I being unreasonable with any of this?

Last edited by Tweets; 06/02/15 04:03 AM.
M: 43 H: 40 M: 18y
S17,D13 D12
IC 11/2014
BD 4/16/15
H home 6/25/15
OW2 EA 6/26/15
MC started 7/22/15
Baby stepping....