GB thank you for this message. I knew the distancing thing was, to her at least me coming across as a jerk. I struggled with the concept of rebuilding the attraction on a daily basis. My WW loved me because I was the funny, talkative interesting guy. Now, trying to follow what I've seen on here I just make it worse. She responds better when I'm the 'old me'. Lots of people here talk about self improvement, fixing the things that she didn't like about you. Not just for the M but for yourself. But what about the thing you forgot to be? What about the old you that she fell in love with? Sometimes that person needs to come back. Know what I mean?
So I like the idea of making your feeling be known in a manly way. She has already left. So I want to AT LEAST TRY and intice her back. It doesn't mean there isn't an improved NDY waiting but the old NDY, the one she loved has to come back too.
Peace
I have no problem with this in THEORY, if someone is skilled (and self-assured) enough to thread that needle. In my experience, very, VERY few men can and so my advice is usually to get them to learn to lay and enforce strong boundaries (while remaining civil), and get them the hell AWAY from the simpering pursuit and supplication that we see way too often on this forum.
Heck, very few emotionally HEALTHY males can pull off what ol' Georgia Bulldog describes above; how many just-bombed and WOUNDED men can?
Starsky
but I'm not just bombed. Nor unhealthy. Starsky, I just feeling the 'standard' approach isn't working. It's making things worse, much worse.
/derail
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
