Cali,
You wife is really trying to figure out where she belongs. She wants her freedom and yet, she wants her family and the activities that go along w/it. She's growing into her new skin and it's going to take some time before she truly settles down

Continue to give her the space she requires. Treat her as a friend and if your friend wants to do things w/you then that's okay if you are okay w/it.

Bottom line, you've gotta dig deeper for more patience.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.