My heart goes out to you because I know from my heart all what you mean. It's very hard to just let go of all what we have or tough we had.
Unfortunately, the longer we keep ourselves dependent on our old R that has came to an end, the worse it is for ourselves to grow into better persons and have a shot of some happiness with the WAS or not.
I think you got it all what you need to do to improve your life and maybe even have a new R with your W. The only thing left now is to deal with this every day.
I believe that the important factor now is to keep yourself busy, have some GAL to promote good PMA, take one day at a time. Like many others say to us, I now am a believer... it is a one day at a time deal.
You are doing great, growing and learning, things will get easier. And who knows what life has in storage for you? No one, we just know that you can be happier if you want to.
