CaliGuy | Thanks again for your idea. I went with it and let WW choose the mediator. I'm interested in your stories where the WW turned around at mediation. It seems very unlikely to happen to me. WW does not seem very emotional about the whole thing, simply going through the motion long after her final decision was made. Still, I try to convince myself that I shouldn't come across as dragging my feet, but rather show her that I take the lead for my part, and make her reflect a little on how we both come out of this situation.
Mozza
I felt the same .. especially the last round this March. Granted my wife is full blown MLC so there is a level of crazy one just becomse numb to. Like I said I have been in that Mediators office 2 different rounds, once in Mar13, again this least Mar14. First one I just pulled the typical DB approach, "Its not what I want but I respect your decision" This threw her ... that and I know she was not so sure she wanted it at the time.
The more recent one ... she had started up prior to the holidays and with the way she is she wanted it to be processed for the new year (2015) I got to the point, I was tired of the rollercoaster ... so I honestly did my research and finacially I would be much better off than where I was ... sure it would $uck that my M was done but like I told the mediator in the first session, I am a great father and will fight to get everything I can not for me but for S, This whole thing was not my idea nor did I deserve it .. nor did he. That being said I also feel I am a good Husband and if W needed this to move on and be happy, I want that for her, just not at MY andS's expense.
The pain and suffering I was over, I was living my life and got to a point I looked at myself in the mirror and I know I did all I could to save the M. If I could describe it ... it was lie a movie scene where you have known the person holding the gun to your face your whole life ... I just looked at her and said .. ok .. pull the trigger, if THIS is what it takes for you to be happy .. go ahead.
I had no idea what was going on in her head nor on her side as far as the paperwork ... My side of the street was clean, all docs submitted ... she kept rescheduling the joint meetings (We both completed the single ones) due to either some medical issue, or she had something going on. This went on for a month or two .. then she finally told me she did not want D, she wanted to work on the M and the family ... but she has a ton of things to work on herself ... that gift of time we get .. we are allowed to do the work so I figured I am WAY ahead of her in that regard and she is currently trying to catch up.
Anyways that's pretty much what went down in Mediation for me, I know Nitty had a very similar thing happen, I think my WAS had to know I dropped rope and though I did not want D I was going to be more than good regardless. All the GAL, 180, PMA I did to that point no doubt got me 'here' ... I am not out of the woods yet ... but I am in a much better spot ... even before BD to be honest.
