Gang, I don't know where I would be without all the support and feedback. I appreciate all of you for taking the time to check in and take interest in my sitch. Zues, I will read up on your archived threats later today. T0, you have been so instrumental in my development. RAI, like you, I often don't take my own advice. And, I agree with all of you that I am not detached yet. Good stuff, forcing me to continue to self-evaluate.
However, I also don't think that one just wakes up one morning and is completely detached. Like everything, it's a journey and I feel I'm taking baby steps towards that goal. I took a baby step this weekend with setting some boundaries about contact and the children arrangement. Seeing as my phone contact with STBX is now limited, with everyone's help, I now need to fine-tune my approach during our physical interactions.
In regards to the hugs/head on shoulder stuff, I know I can strategically do things to prevent this from happening (sitting in love seat vs. couch, walking away from car after putting kids in car seats), but if I am not initiating it and not encouraging it, why should I be so afraid of it? Trust me, I see the value of limiting physical contact but I don't want to get to the point where I'm like 6 year old who squirms and says "Eww!" any time a female classmate comes near. I know this is overstating it a bit LOL.
Me:35 W:30 D:4 S:1 Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA In House Separation: 01/14/15 W moves out: 04/05/15 I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15 W serves D papers: 06/19/15 Mediation: 09/16/15 D final: 12/01/15
