if it's too late why is he still here?

[lost18]

This morning I went for a run(walk/run) and had lots of thoughts going thru my head, not good ones for the most part. Two things keep rolling in my mind, I want to know I did the best I could do to try to save my marriage and I don't want to be bitter and resentful toward him the rest of my life. I am becoming bitter and resentful, not because he wants a divorce, but because the way he has/is handling it. For me, I need to work thru this because I see the future (my mom) as a bitter ex-wife and it isn't pretty.

Pretty low key day other than that. Kept to myself for the most part. H spent most of the day on the couch watching TV, I did some cleaning, surfed the net and watched tv in my room. Later, I went to the store and did not ask him if he needed/wanted anything like I usually do. Made homemade mac n cheese for dinner and grilled burgers. I had been asking him to grill in the past but today I did it, pretty well I might add! (I did have to ask him to start the grill because it wasn't working). I'm not going to lie, I was hoping he'd offer to grill but he didn't.

I work mon-thurs this week and his surgery is scheduled for Friday. I am going to try to schedule a coaching session, it's just hard to have any private time....