Point taken. That is precisely why I poll my esteemed DBers. I really value your opinion. When I think about a boundary, I ask myself: how is the proposed boundary supposed to protect me. And, you are right, it does not protect me to ask W to stop going sleeping in the kids bed. It would just be vindictive. The behavior truly does bother me for a number of reasons - but I can transcend it.
Did you ever notice how many DBers don't go to the bathroom without analyzing it, yet our WWs do everything without any thought whatsoever, or out of pure emotion without reasoning? We really suffer from analysis paralysis sometimes.
