All of this is difficult, isn't it? One foot in front of another..one day at a time.
As for your ILs card, zip it. Continue to taking the high road will get you very far. Yes, it is hard on them as well and I am sure they're feeling confused by all of this.
If they ever bring it up in person or by phone, then you can say your piece such as "Yeah, I too am sad by all of this. I would prefer to stay married. Thanks for the kind words."
See? Short, simple and to the point. All of that is done without stirring things up or getting into all details.
