Old dog seeks new trick 14

[Old Dog]

Thank you rd, V, Pink & bob.

I think I am, at last, reaching some sort of detachment. I am finding that when I think of my situation these days, I can pause, step back a bit and watch instead of spiralling out of control.

I still feel so sad and incredulous that ww wouldn't lift a finger to try and repair our marriage and I still feel insanely jealous of om (I will not give them the dignity of capitals).

I don't know if ww is holding any resentment. If I had to guess, I don't think she is. I think she has decided to 'move on' as she says and is determined to do so come what may - and, as I'm out of sight, out of mind, I don't stand much chance of changing that.

Re my kids: yes, I now live four hours away. Of course I do care. I miss my whole family so much. At least ww said the kids need their father and she has no intention of replacing me as such. (Note to self - believe nothing of what they say.)

The every other weekend thing came about because I was so upset and full of rage because she started seeing om. I said I didn't want her in the house when I went back at the weekend. I changed it to every other one so she could have a weekend with them and I could have a weekend free to do whatever I liked. We have a very loose arrangement with regard to everything to the moment.

You can respect her decision but you can make your point of being a father. - Actually, I do not respect her decision. She has made it without recourse to all the facts and she refused to listen to me when I tried to ask her to go to marriage counselling. She has her blinkers on and shows no sign of taking them off. It'll be one year since bomb day tomorrow.

I got a card with a note from my in-laws on my birthday expressing sorrow 'about the break up - it's the last thing any parents ever want to hear.'

I feel compelled to set the record straight because I know she will spouted her "we're in transition, we're still friends and we're co-parenting' bull. I just want to say, actually, this isn't my idea, it's not a joint decision: nothing judgmental just that. Is that a bad idea?