Ok, well that conversation couldn't have gone worse. All of my intentions went out the door the minute my H got home last night. H had really bad attitude from the second he came upstairs to find me to discuss my text and it threw me off mission. I am sure that was his intent and it worked. He was condescending and rude to me, which I pointed out to him. I asked why we could not have civil conversation. I allowed myself to get sucked into gaslighting and manipulation. At least now I recognize it and did not take it on.
I should have known it was wrong step to send text about A. I had doubts, but sent it anyway. H is adamant that there is no A going on, that I should have asked him if I had concerns, and that he has no reason to lie, when will I start trusting him, etc. He also said that he knew even before I was going on trip that I was going to question whether or not he brought someone home. Said he almost mentioned it to me before I left. Sure enough, that is what I did. I did not even know how to respond.
H said he was trying to work on friendship prior to text to see if we could start from there. WHAT?! But because of my text it has made him realize that things are probably too far gone to make M work. Thinks I am being too irrational and up and down. This turned into a convo about R again, which I had told myself I would not do. There was some good info to come out of this portion of our discussion-- things I can work on to make me better spouse. Also, H is upset that I admitted to snooping when I got home from trip.
Discussed him possibly moving out in August as next step. There is too much traveling for him over next couple of months to make moving out now realistic. Wants to wait and see after travel.
That was last night. Today he is barely speaking to me, avoiding me, and giving me guilt trip. The good news is that I am detached enough that I am not feeling overly emotional about this and know this is likely to divert attention from A. He is going to do what he is going to do and my text was trying to control him and the situation. Lesson learned.
I feel I took a major step backwards. Any advice on how to get back on track other than GAL, LRT, etc? Do I just ignore his temper tantrum?
Last edited by BW05; 05/31/1509:15 PM.
Me: 42 H: 40 M: 12 H moved out - 8/2015 I filed - 8/2015
