Time for a new thread I guess. I picked this title because Charles asked me that question when I first moved to this forum and I've been asking myself that same question ever since W moved back home in November. I'm not sure of the answer yet though.
Either way, I keep thinking something is going to happen soon. Not sure what that "something" is, or even if it will be a good or bad thing, but I think we are approaching a crossroads.
Here's a link to my last thread. From there you can get to the rest of the sordid story.
-Married 24years (24 years? SIGH...) -3 Kids, S22,D21,S18. -Separated Aug99 because of job. We wanted kids to stay put to go thru H.S.
-Nov 01 Six months before I'm due to come back W says she doesn't want me to come back. Doesn't want to stay married. She literally can't talk to me w/o screaming. (I'm such an idiot, I thought things were going pretty darn well right up to this point.)
-Dec 01 Called in some favors and tell her I can move back in Spring 02 instead of Summer. She says she definitely wants a divorce.
-Apr 02 Get back home, she goes to stay w/friends. I ask her to not get D until we've had a chance to work it out now that I'm back.
-May 02 read DR then DB, start applying principles. W still not talking to me. I find out about her affair. Evidently started sometime summer or fall of 01.
-Jun 02 I ask if she wants it to work. I'll try if she stops affair. I think this is when we had our first civil conversation since Nov 01.
-Aug 02 Finally give up and tell her I'll give her D. Now she says she doesn't want one. Says A is over and she just needs more time. Still staying w/ a friend.
-Oct 02 W comes home says she wants to try. The next day says she can't do it and she's found an apt. Leaves again mid-Oct. Total stay approx 10 days.
Jan 03: Says she needs more time. Leave her alone.
Mar-Apr O3: Starts poking her head out of the fog. Showing some interest. She makes plans to return to Ohio with me and the kids for my sister's wedding in June.
May 03: I see her with her old "friend" she swears it was nothing. I say I'm done and will start the D. She says she plans to move back home after the trip to Ohio if everything goes well between us.
Jun 03: Trip goes well. W says "Well I didn't mean I'd move home right away!" Suggests MC.
Jul 03: Frequent contact. Actually have a date. Seem to have a good time together although most contact centers around the kids and their activities. Third MC appointment, I'm upset with W distancing herself a little so she says "I don't care if we are married or not." I walk out. She claims not to have remembered saying that. Begs me to "hang in there."
Aug 03: I'm still a sucker. Waiting around. She keeps saying she's "almost ready" to reconcile. Says we'll try MC again...but she hasn't lifted a finger to progress toward those goals...
Oct 03: I get tabbed for a 2-3 month long trip for my job, W says "OK, I'll come home while you are gone and we'll talk about things when you get back." Didn't ask me just decided on her own. (Not that it would have made any difference...LOL)
Nov 03: W moves in the day before I leave. Actually doesn't get everything out of her apartment until the day after I'm gone.
Nov 03 thru Jan 04: W is at home, some minor incidents w/the kids. She gets frustrated and frequently takes it out on me over the phone when I call. They did all get together for Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year.
Jan 04: I return. She's still here, but doesn't want to talk about anything yet. She spends some time with me, but usually when it involves the kids.
Feb 04: W announces that she made a new appt w/therapist. She wants to get past all this resentment she's been carrying around. Things seem to be stabilizing a little bit, but still not a lot of progress. We'll see.
So things continue to plod along. She just started some new medication, Lexipro yesterday and seems really hopeful that it will make a difference.
Still don't know where we are going. This has gone on a long time but I'm still here.
