The reason why you haven't heard from H is that he's probably discussing with the OW ways to take the A further underground and come up with a script together. They're in a panic mode right now and in a deep strategy session at this time.
If and when H does come home, you really need to be VERY calm when stating your boundary for he will push your buttons and try to gaslight you.
Put a hand up and say, "Stop. We both know you're lying. You crossed the line by bringing OW in OUR house. That was an incredibly disrespectful thing to do. I am not willing to live in an open marriage. We have some decisions to make here."
