Hi ralphy, I am not a vet so take my advice for what it is worth. But it seems to me that your W is trying to control/manipulate you. It does not look like these are the real signs of a W who is truly sorry for her actions.
Her giving you a hug and asking you to not see your attorney seem to me as her attempt at having her om and keeping you hanging on as her back-up plan. Did she give any assurances of her claimed "break-up" with om?
I would suggest you keep your Tuesday appointment with the lawyer. You are only getting information, and this does not force you to move forward with anything. But you have to protect yourself, and the lawyer can help you with this.
And make sure to STFU when your W asks you about what your plans are with the lawyer, and if she asks you about what happened when you do see the lawyer. Don't talk about, deflect her questions, and stay quiet.
This could be a good first step. But as Matt suggested play it slow. Keep detaching and db'ing, and see what happens. Good luck.
