So far today, I've done a great job of pretending I have a life, but not really having one. Some friends left for the beach this weekend and made their home available to me. So I went over for a while to enjoy the nontoxic environment, intending to read. But I couldn't concentrate. All I could do was sit in a chair and be as pathetic there as I would have been here. It's just that she didn't see me.
On the way, though, I stopped at her open house. This wasn't to pursue, but to throw her off guard, as she would not be expecting me. I went in, she was surprised but not unhappy. I asked how it was going, that's about it, didn't stay long. I'm back home now and the house is empty... she's at the gym, she says. The boys are out. Saturdays used to be so much more pleasant, content, joyful. Right now, all I want to do is sleep and hope that when I wake up, this nightmare is over.
Instead, I think I'll clean the house.
Me: 46 Her: 41 M: 5.5 yrs / S: 20, 18 3/26 W and I meet OW BD: 5/2/2015, she takes off ring W goes to stay with OW 6/26 NC: 9/5 Both moved out: 10/16 I take off my ring and feel... healed: 10/19
