Expectations in marriage.

This was a problem for me in my marriage. I expected too much. But the things I expected seemed so self-evident.

But what's wrong with expecting commitment? Being treated with some respect? Having basic needs met that only can be met in a M?

I think most of us LBS's had bad M's because when one partner leaves the other was rarely satisfied. And one thing that's fatigued me is the amount of LBS's that decide their partner was defective. But defective because of what? They didn't meet our expectations of what a spouse should've been? Shoot, even them walking away upsets us because we expect them to stay committed to the marriage through thick and thin.

Is the answer to truly not to have desires, to not have your needs met, to accept a mediocre marriage? Where's the balance? For some this may seem a disinteresting thought problem and go to the next thread, but for me this is at the center of my M's breakdown. AND IF I DON'T GROW MY SECOND MARRIAGE WOULD BE A REPEAT. I don't want that for me, or for any of you.

Today I got some great answers. It was on a youtube clip...

I'd like to converse with a few people that have watched this video, so please check it out if you can and chime in with your thoughts.

Last edited by Cristy; 06/17/15 09:06 PM. Reason: per forum agreement, do not mention other videos/authors
Me:38 XW:38
T:11 years M:8 years
Kids: S14, D11, D7
BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15